[politics] Live-blogging DNC Day 2

After yesterday’s train wreck of an attempt at full-fledged coverage, I will just be blogging Senator Hillary Clinton’s speech.

She faces an uphill battle to unite the party against the most fervent supporters of her also-ran campaign, who are absolutely inconsolable after what they perceived to be gender bias from the mainstream media during the Democratic Primaries. These women (example below) are unabashed in their attempt to destroy what ground the Democrats have made over the Republicans in the past four years. They’ve gone as far as proclaiming themselves PUMAs (Party Unity My Ass) and are proving to be an annoyingly, unstoppable force metastasizing quickly over Web 2.0.

President of PUMA PAC

Upon discovering http://blog.pumapac.org, I had the right mind to endorse the repeal of women suffrage. But the campaign moving forward is indeed about unity so I will leave my most strident comments out of the blogosphere.

While most recognize that she cannot deliver her followers to the Obama camp, anything short of a full effort will surely hurt her chance for the presidency in the future.

And here we go…

2:30:10 Video introduction to Senator Clinton narrated by Chelsea.

2:30:40 Clips from the primary played with Van Halen’s “Girl You Got Me Now” as a backdrop.

2:31:24 The caption for Bill Clinton is “Hillary’s Husband.” Cute.

2:32:20 Video now takes on a more of an anthropomorphous perspective, as it touches on the more humanoid features of her personality.

2:34:04 Uh oh, a Hillary quote used to describe herself as someone who has been “counted out but refused to be knocked out” is played over a picture of Barack. PUMAs are seething; can be seen feasting on a young virgin boy.

2:36:07 Bill has had a terribly forced smile plastered on his face all night. Talk about knowing when the camera’s on you. Can be seen mouthing “I love you, I love you” incessantly, which is no doubt a mystic chant to ensure she keeps her human form for the duration of the speech. Bill, give me a fucking break.

2:39:36 Barack’s name is finally mentioned. Says the time is now to “unite as a single party with a single purpose.”

2:41:69 “No way, no how, no McCain.” How droll. Crowd goes wild. Bill laughs uncontrollably.

2:45:52 This is starting to sound like a farewell speech. Why now? Ugh. She did say there was a need for a catharsis in the Democratic Party. Yeah, in the same way I need to be implanted with a catheter.

2:49:00 Not sure how a politician who went to Wellesley and Yale Law can sound like a champion of the blue collared but pulls it off.

2:50:38 Potentially the best possible attempt to sway the ice queens: “I want you to ask yourselves, ‘Were you in this campaign just for me? Or were you in it for the young marine and others like him? Were you in it for that mom struggling with cancer trying to raise her kids… [or] were you in it for all the people in this country who feel invisible.” Incredibly well framed, bravo. Plea to put a Democrat back in the White House.

2:53:31 Reference to the historically successful Clinton administration to restore her husband’s tattered image. Bill slides back into his seat, absolutely gushing. He is so enthralled, he just might give up his turn to be the man this week.

2:54:44 Shout out to Michelle Obama.

2:57:55 John McCain doesn’t support equal pay for women? Oh that’s right.

2:59:15 Channels Harriet Tubman. “Keep going! But before we keep going, we have to get going by electing Barack Obama the next President of the United States.”

3:01:26 Great speech, well crafted and well delivered. Probably would have been VP had the primaries not gone awry. Harridan moniker less deserved after tonight. C’mon PUMA freaks, let not perfection be the enemy of good.